‘Made in Chelsea’ might be all about falling in love, but love without Chivalry has a dark side, a destructive kind of oblivion that under the right conditions is intoxicating. Some of us find this very compelling.

The Spencer-Louise bond could under those conditions become very dangerous. Love can turn, when driven by sexual jealousy to obsession – even possession and … even further. Love can become dangerous and the danger can be compelling – as in very.

Love and Death, are two sides of the same coin. Instinct spins that coin and sometimes it lands – face down. Before ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ there was ‘The Story of O’ – think ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ and imagine the erotic thrill of being restrained, punished, restricted, controlled, possessed – dominated by a mind that really ‘knows’ you. Bondage fantasies come from somewhere dark and thrilling.

For example – this will knock your socks off – it is one of the most robust findings psychological research can claim. It is, therefore, the closest thing we psychs have to the law of gravity – it bespeaks or points to an eternal truth, simply because it is so prevalent.

If conditions are right love will morph from something warm, euphoric and liberating to something obsessive, possessive and murderous. If you have the unfortunate or less than fortuitous fate of finding yourself murdered, that would be bad enough – but you are almost 90% likely to have been ‘ended’ by the same someone who once declared their love for you. How about that?

The cause – is sexual jealousy combined with – an absence of trust or an inability to trust and an intent to prevent you from ever being ‘with’ another partner.

Here’s the Soft Cell version of ‘Tainted Love’ – contemporary to that decade of great style, lace and ballads – the eighties. Slightly tamer – will help you sleep and trust love – again.