Don’t they? For Schizzle!
The personal is political. It becomes even more so when our feelings are denied, suppressed or marginalised. Our feelings when unexpressed have an interesting way of asserting themselves and speaking. They can become body symptoms or illnesses. They can become conflict with out partner about the way they wash the dishes. Just quietly, this is an ongoing area of learning for Clangers.
Seriously though, we are living in an increasingly transactional world where our feelings are less and less important, on the surface. Our feelings are important because they are the means, the glue, the oil that enables relationship to happen. Without relationship we cannot help each other, we cannot create community. Without community we have no family support for our families. If we cannot support our families, they cannot provide or even hope to provide the necessary support for couples and children. We all fall apart.
Relationship happens in many ways but where we find conflict, opportunity for relationship is nearby. However many of us are very uncomfortable with conflict, inner and outer. We detect conflict through our feelings. If feelings are not acknowledged or expressed the conflict gets suppressed or pushed underground and can show up in alarming ways.
Here is a fun YouTube clip parodying what ‘might’ happen at Christmas, if everyone in our family spoke with Self Awareness, Bravery and Honesty.
Is your family able to do this? Can you be this Self Aware? The honesty required is white hot and seethes. Makes some of us prefer to avoid and run away. We might need some help.
What are the Psychologists, Psychotherapists, Social Workers and Psychiatrists doing to help us with this mighty challenge? Great question. Many answers too. You probably have your own. One of them is to engage in experiences that help learn how to do relationships better. Group Therapy is one place to do this.
Imagine creating a culture in your inner world, your outer world, your relationship, family and your community that meets, sees and values every aspect of you and your experience. Democracy cannot work if it does not represent everybody. Before you can meet all of another and together with lots of others, create Democracy that works, embraces change, diversity and conflict … practice and inner work is needed.
Here is Arny Mindell who began his professional career studying Physics at MIT before moving paradoxically perhaps to Jungian Psychology. Arny developed a new way to do ‘Group’ called Worldwork. Worldwork strives to create not just democracy but ‘Deep Democracy’, where every part of your experience is needed to be expressed in dialogue and even risked in conflict before sustainable democracy can be created and recreated in Group or the big Group, Community. Yes – all of you is needed, not just the parts you and the world find comfortable.