Clangers Benched

Ruckman – Not Getting Injured – Yet!

So … it is Footy Season – Again. AFL – you with me? Lots of Boofing it up and Leapsying around and yes – you seasoned supporters of a Footy Player – you know what else is coming …

Clangers has confessed to me, when interrogated under fluorescent light after being either woken up for the discussion or alternatively deprived of sleep until I ‘get’ – the truth of it, the unbridled unvarnished truth behind the reason why the Men Folk are glued to the set watching the Cricket in Summer.

My Father’s view was – ‘Well if you are watching the Cricket you can’t be doing anything else like mowing the lawn’. Entropy – can buy it. Makes sense. Clangers’ view under torture was more philosophical. He believes the Men Folk are imagining themselves being there, at the crease, on the pitch, with the staying power, commanding the attention of – yes – the adoring crowd. What a Feeling!

Back to Clangers and Community Football. What the beginning of Footy Season meant for Clangers – was he went hard, went early and went to the Emergency Department along with all the other Boof Heads who went hard, went early and went home! The ED Nurses were too polite to roll their eyes but they did say there would be a wait for the X-Ray machine.

We waited for ages. We killed time trying for the 100th time to make accurate predictions regarding the GFC and what will happen next. Riveting. Conducting a verbal analysis of a Dynamic Complex System – that is Global Economics – makes for perpetual entertainment – absolutely no way to test any prediction made or figure anything out except supreme optimism or pessimism. Complete nonsense but what else do you do behind a curtain in the ED?

Finally we ran out of puff and realized we’d been at the ED for just short of 4 Hours. The reason for the wait, will not surprise you partners of Footy Players or the ED Nurses – there was a long line of dislocations, fractures, breaks and snapped tendons waiting to be X-Rayed before Clangers. Why you ask? It was initially a mystery to me also but it seems Clangers is not alone – in the general tendency for the Men Folk to go hard, go early, injure themselves and go home..

Guess what his injury was? And yes, he’s out for a couple of weeks – ‘due to injury’. Clangers wants me to say, “Yeah but you should have seen the other Guy”. No doubt he was in the X-Ray Que with his partner talking about the GFC wondering what happened to Sunday – ah yes, we were at the Emergency Department.

Seems Clangers has what is known as an “Intercostal Muscle Sprain” – a what? Yeah, that’s what I said. The dexterity requirement to achieve this alone is impressive and beyond Clangers’ usual range. Basically he managed to overstretch the muscle between his ribs. Not the one – on top of his ribs – the one between. How did Clangers achieve this? Clangers – AKA – the ‘Ruckman’ got himself RUCKED from behind? Beside? Who can say?

Just quietly, Clangers is almost imperceptibly smug about all this.

I am on to him.

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